5 Minute Post - Commitment

*setting my timer*

Here starts my 5-minute post series.  These posts will take 5 minutes or less to write and will focus on all things dating.  Here we go. (I already lost 10 seconds.)

Commitment comes in many forms.  There is a continuum of commitment in which people tend to find themselves having a natural disposition of placement.  Continuum below:




Serial Committer------------------------Indifferent Committer----------------------Non-Committer

(*This is all totally based on research.)

You got the serial committers who jump into relationship after relationships with the idea that "this could be the one this time."  They are the people who are never single - they are always in a 1-2+ year commitment every year.  These are people who are intense in relationships and when they break up, it rocks their world.  Say what you want about them, but these are the loyalists of the committers.  They will love hard all day, everyday. If they were a radio station, they would be underground hip hop circa 1990s.

You got the indifferent committers - they have an ebb and flow of singleness and commitment.  They don't really get too involved emotionally, but they do enough to make you think that they can if you just hold on a little while longer.  For them, being single is fine.  Being committed in a relationship is fine.  Everything is fine.  These are people who are usually friends with all of their exes.  They didn't get too involved to have a nasty blow out, but it probably took a couple months for their exes to want to talk to them again.  These are the easy-goers.  If they were a radio station, they would be soft rock.

Lastly, you got the non-committer.  They don't want a relationship. They make this very clear. They will treat you like you are their girlfriend when they are with you, but you can't expect anything when they aren't right in front of you.  Being single is great for these types, and well, relationships - the bain of their existence.  Radio statio - Top 40.

Which one are you?  What radio statio do you listen to?

Personally, I am probably smack dab in between Serial and Indifferent Committer.  I know how to commit and I am loyal in committing, but it takes me a while (usually) to be able to do so. I am cautious with my heart.  Maybe.

My station?   R&B.  I have full capacity to be intense and love with every ounce of my being, BUT *record screeching* I can also belt out chords of I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-C-E.

Bottom line: I think at certain times in life we listen to various radio stations, just as we move along the continuum..  10 years ago, I found myself at the other end of the continuum.  I think the important thing here is to be with someone who is in the same area of the continuum you are. They don't have to be in the same, exact spot you are in.  But my "research" tells me that if they predominantly listen to Top 40 and you listen to underground hip hop, 9/10 of the time, it won't work. 

The question to be begged is: Do you ever stop moving along the continuum?  If not, then how do you make a long-lasting relationship work if people are constantly changing?