Holla for a Dollar

Here's the problem:

We are hanging out and getting to know one another. I like you. You like me. We have fun together, laugh, make jokes about the diameters of our skulls, and enjoy down time together. We seem to have some of the same political views and can talk about anything.

One day, I tell you that I need $20. You say that you really want to give me $20, but you only have $17 in your pocket. I ask if you could go to an ATM and get $3 more, and give it to me. You know, because I NEED it. I even offer to drive you to an ATM, grocery store, or even take the extra $3 in change. Pennies, dimes, quarters, nickles, and the like. I am willing to accept the extra $3 in ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM!! Why? Because I need it.

You still try to give me $17.

So, $17 doesn't help me because I need (not want or desire to have) $20. I bring this dilemma back to you, and you say, "Well, I only got $17 right now. And though I really like you and want to give you $20, I am not willing to take the extra steps to get the remaining $3. I guess I just can't. But I want to. Hey, I got an idea. Why don't I give you the $17 (and you put the extra $3 in) and then we can act like I gave you $20. That way, I don't give you what you need and somehow you have to make up for what I lack. We all win."

I walk away. I think to myself, "Someday I will get the $20 from someone who wants and can give me what I need. All of what I need."

This is how it worked out recently. Obviously, it wasn't about $20, but I think you get the point.

I was in a position where someone offered me what he had, but he wasn't willing to give me what I needed. It wasn't enough. And he wasn't willing to go for the gold. He was willing to go for the silver and convince me to be satisfied with said silver.

I wasn't. Sadness.

I really liked him. We could have been something good together. Maybe not.

Instead, I shall be steadfast in my love for myself. I can't settle for 17 when I need 20.

I must trust that God will supply all of my needs.