Thursday, October 20, 2011

Kindergarten Part 1

In dating, the cliche' applies:  Everything I need to know about dating, I learned in Kindergarten.  Or was it life?

People make dating out to be so complicated when in fact it can be quite simple.  All we need to do is remember the things we learned in Kindergarten, and we'd be much more successful.

In Kindergarten, we learn to ask questions.  We learn to ask questions for various reasons, but mostly to:
1) express a need, like "May I go to the restroom?" or "Can you tell Kevin to stop?"
2.) express confusion and/or dismay, like "Why can't I have a snack?!" or "So how does the baby come out of Mommy?"
3.) express interest, like "My favorite color is blue, Jason. What's yours?" or "I'm 5. How old are you?"


Even in Kindergarten, children know that if you want someone to fulfill a need, you should ask a question.  If you are confused, you should probably ask a question.  If you want to be someone's friend, you need to ask them a question. It seems that we lose this fundamental as we get older. 

People all of sudden seem to think that they don't need to put forth effort.  That if they want to get to know someone, they'll telepathically get them to come over and the other person will exert effort to get to know them, even though the telepather has done nothing to show interest.  Then, the telepather will expect that the person asks them questions, but won't necessarily do the same.

I've seen this happen so many times, especially with men.  No, especially with egotistical and/or highly attractive men.  They expect women to waltz on in, show interest by smiling and asking questions to prompt a conversation, and then finish by carrying the conversation.  Seriously?  Oh my, how things have changed.

My grandfather used to say that it wasn't the woman's job to hunt.  Women are to be the hunted.  Sexist as it may be, there was a reason he believed this.  It made guys put in work.  These days it seems that the tables have turned. (This isn't to say that women shouldn't put in work  I do believe both parties need to exert a considerable amount of effort.)

My advice?  Learn from primary school.  If you want a woman to think you are interested, ask her questions.  Get to know her.  It's simple.  No question will be dumb, so there's no need to freeze up over this.  All we want to know is that you want to know us.  The way that you do that: ask us questions about ourselves.  And if we are interested, we will ask you a question back.  That's what we call a CONVERSATION.  A conversation can quickly turn into a daunting monologue if men do not step up and ask questions.  Just smiling at us won't cut it.  When you don't ask questions, it makes us say, "He must not be that interested because he doesn't want to know much about me."

No bueno!

Bottom line: Ask and ye shall show interest.

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