It seems that when you least expect it, your feelings smack you in the face - hard! Like a -5 degree day in Chicago with no scarf on - BRICK HARD. And what do I do when I realize I like a man... a fine man at that?
I get scared.
All of these feelings rush to my face, and I feel like I am going to explode. Maybe the reason that I wasn't truly invested in dating until now is because I suck at it. Who am I kidding?! It's like I got caught up in rules and what other authors think about dating. And now, I am not sure what to believe.
Don't get it twisted! I know who I am and what I want.
But I never thought to devise a plan for what to do when I think I've got what I want. Well, almost what I want... I think. There was a tiny piece of me that thought there was no one out there for me... No one I could be me with.
Do I have what I want? IDK. Too soon to tell.
I want someone that I can be myself around, and can truly appreciate what I bring to the table. I want to be able to love them in the way that I love best. I merely want unconditional love...
Either way, this is the first time in a long time when I actually am afraid. I am excited to be scared. Haven't had someone to spark a glimmer of passion in me in a LONG time.
So, all I can do is pray about it. I want it to be what it is and never what it isn't.
Either away, I am going to ride the wave, have fun, and at worst, get a wonderful friend out of the whole process.
I digress.
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